My message to Sit4Earth members: Reflections on Sit4Earth, Reflections on Making a Difference

Dear Meditators,

The last few days of the Copenhagen Conference have been fraught with scandal, upset and deceit. They have also been witness to something extraordinary happen: people all over the world giving what they feel is important to make a difference.

Whether protesting on the streets, creating art projects to raise awareness, or even just holding a vigil on the streets of major cities, everyone has had something to offer. Sit4Earth touched 300 people around the world.

YOU CAN inspire 300 people!!!

Despite my own resignation over the last few days about the conference, and also thinking “Only 300 people?”, it would have been easy to convince myself that I can’t make a difference in the world!

It is easy to forget to acknowledge yourself for the difference you know you have made. It is easy to play it down and tell yourself that it’s not worth bothering if you can’t make a difference to EVERYONE!

What I’ve got out of running this project is that I have no idea the impact I have had on those 300 lives. If all that is taken from this is that someone else believes they can do something totally unique and inspired, and take a stand in a way THEY feel they can make a difference, then my vision has been fulfilled.

Get people to meditate! Get people to dance! Get people to listen to what you have to say! You WON’T get agreement from everyone, but those who WILL give you agreement are the very ones who can take your idea to the most extraordinary new heights! You won’t get everyone on your side. You won’t convert everyone to your way of thinking. But if you can touch 300 people, how many people will each of those 300 touch?

Whatever you dream you can do, start now!

Take what you think should be in the world to everyone you know! Share until you’re exhausted. Dare to believe that you have the answers, and find others who support you. Ignore those who don’t, and keep on fighting, especially when you get resigned!

Our leaders may not want to do the right thing, but there’s no reason why all of you can’t go out RIGHT NOW and make a difference! I implore you to do so! The world needs leaders like you to make a difference. So what’re you waiting for? Your 300 people are waiting for you to take the lead…

And now…

Will you meditate with me this evening? Will you sit one last time for our planet? Will you bring every emotion you have about how important this planet is to you? Will you bring every doubt, every anxiety, and every hope and aspiration you have to your cushion and let yourself be moved by how much you care?

Why?

Because whatever you’re up to in your life, maybe you’ll allow yourself to be moved to make a difference in a way you believe you can!

I love you all for being who you are for the world! Keep fighting the good fight and never forget to smile!

With love,

Marc Quinn

Men’s Groups, Feminism & Living Harmoniously between the sexes

Last month, a friend of mine set up a men’s group at Oxford University. With a view to encouraging men to explore what it means to be a man in the world today, carving out their own path whilst getting support from other men wanting to explore the same, Alex took a stand for there being more powerful loving men in the world.

The only thing was, there was rather a large shitstorm created in its wake. What was most interesting was that there were TWO camps of opposition to the idea of there being a mens-only group: The feminists…and the chauvanists. Loaded Editor Martin Daubney came out, calling it “navel-gazing”, alluding that men should just “get on with it”. What happened next was a melodrama of attacks from both camps, followed by a great article in support of such groups from Guardian Editor, Jenny Agg.

Even as he was being attacked, Alex stood strong on 3 radio stations, and even on BBC TV. A lot of less mature commentators reverted to personal insults, spreading lies, and resorting to huge reactionary tactics. Lots of women in the feminist camp were coming out saying it inhibited their own expression as women in the world. Lots of men, in reaction, came out in attack of feminism as trying to slowly subjugate men into the oppression they have enacted upon women for the last few millenia. Where would you stand in such a debate? Let me say, I can see points in both arguments.

Rather than “sit on the fence”, this is where I choose to stand:

The Conversation That Exists

There is a story, rooted in deep wounds of the past, that says that men have inhibited the free speech of women for longer than we can remember. So as our society evolves, women are now finding their voices. They are in more positions of power. They are in more areas of our society. In history, the women’s story stops there. The men’s story begins here: As men, we are finding that more and more second-class attitudes toward men. We find ourselves performing poorly in school. We find ourselves trapped in a health & safety nightmare where we are being taught to “be useful rather than be purposeful…and safe”. As more women find their power, something has entered our own psyche which says that we are not allowed to be powerful.

Power for men has often been equated with aggression, abuse, and arrogance. These are traits so quickly attributed to men. Let’s face it guys, we’ve earned the right to these traits. There is a lot of history backing this up. And yet, can we apologize for this? Most of us were not around back then. What most hardliners don’t realize is that we have allowed ourselves to be defined by the social reality of the past. This is nobody’s fault. There is no one to “blame”. Even if we can find someone, we will never get them over to realise that there is another way possible for us to move forward. Today there is another way we can go. We have an opportunity: We take responsibility for who we are TODAY!

If we are to have true equality in our society, there are things we must achieve.

1. Men AND women must have an outlet to discuss what is going on for them.
2. Men and women must recognize that they are equal, but not necessarily the same.

I get persistently bored of seeing some trying to harmonize the sexes by trying to say “we’re all the same”. Well yeah, sure, in some ways we are. But then, there are so many ways that we’re different. But we’ve collapsed “different” with “equal”. We think that if we say we’re different, it means somehow that one is better than the other! Please, let it go, it’ll be better if you just get over that we’re different and learn to actually celebrate our differences. WHY? Because let’s face it everyone, it’s simply boring!

As a man, I’ve recognized that when I’m around strong men, I feel stronger. Those guys who just exude trust from every pore of their being. Those guys who you just look at and know you could rely on them. I get the same feeling from strong women, although it is a different feeling.

What if we could grow men like this? What if we could remove the “gender studies” focus when we talk about men and women, and learn to realize that there are times that women can benefit from being around other women, and men benefit from being around other men. I’m not arguing for a segregated society. I’m not arguing for an imposed order. It’s an invitation.

Try it out!

We all have male and female friends thesedays. What does it feel like to be around your own gender? Are you ready for exploring what it means to be a powerful, loving, courageous man with other men?

Healthy Masculinity, Healthy Femininity

In this country today, we are all looking for courageous leadership that listens to all parties but can stand strong in leading us into the future. But in Britain, we have decided it’s best to remain on the fence. And it’s killing both men and women. We’ve learned to put up with a patriarchal society by attacking HEALTHY forms of masculinity, leaving the unhealthy forms running our country!

We don’t encourage ANY masculinity. Nor do we encourage ANY femininity. The cost? Women never get to learn how powerful they are. Men never get to learn they can be powerful. The most open-hearted loving men in our society often don’t get to power. They were never caused to be powerful by being supported by other strong men around them who wouldn’t let them sacrifice ANY of their values! There are millions of people out there who are just waiting for the day when they’ll be happy! They’re waiting to make a difference!

FOR Women, FOR Men

I sometimes find myself reacting to the term “feminism”. Not because I’m against women. But because I’m much more interested in Celebration of both sexes, where neither sex is left behind. It will surely be much messier. But unless we inform people of healthier forms of masculinity, we’ll have more boys looking for that juicy flavour of masculinity through crime and violence. They’ll never get taught healthy male sexuality, instead turning to the objectification of women.

Really, this is not a good idea! Trust me! You can’t kill this thirst for something emboldening in men. You can only direct it. You do not want to ignore it…

For all the outpouring of support Alex has received, this has really emboldened us all to believe that there ARE people out there really wanting something richer, deeper and more fulfilling in their lives! Both the men and the women who have supported him know there is something missing.

Current State of Men’s Groups in the UK

I know there are men’s groups in the UK (I used to be in one). So when I did a google search for “mens groups uk”, I was immediately hit by the UK Men’s Movement. What I saw I did not really expect…but was not really surprised.

Have you ever seen one of them 9/11 truth websites where they say how much we’re all being lied to an manipulated? Where their websites are filled with angry, frustration and hatred? That’s what I found when I clicked.

This group were upset at feeling like they were being victimized by the feminists in this country. I’m sure they have a lot of evidence to back up their claims. I’m sure they could prove pretty well, and get a lot of agreement on it, that men were being discriminated against in a subtle way from women in the world. I was instantly turned off…

Look guys, nobody likes a victim. Nobody likes listening to a victim. I’m not saying you don’t have a point. I’m just saying, let’s give it up! It’s just an invitation I’m making! Give up believing you are a victim and recognize there is still a lot of work to do. Remember Gandhi’s iconic line “BE the change you want to be in the world!”. I invite you to BE the men you want to be in the world! I invite you to give up being this way.

BE The Man You Want To Be

The world needs to see that we can have strong, loving men who actually give a damn! They need to see that men deserve as much a part in the future of our planet as women do. If someone says men should not be allowed as much power as women, let me invite you to do something. Let them have that!

Are you going to change their minds? Probably not.
Are you going to get them to look at you with the respect you are wanting? No, again, probably not.

Do you really want to cry about this? You may do. Sometimes I do when I come across people like this. Do I want to let myself stay in crying about it? Does that really empower me to have them see me any differently? If we want to make a difference in the world today, nobody will listen to someone who continually pouts how much they are under attack!

Be the man you want to be! And let whoever doesn’t believe in what you are fighting for believe what they want to believe!

Want to start a Mens group? Check out this podcast first…it’s a great place to start!

An Ode to David Ure

A few weeks ago, I assisted on a Landmark Forum lead by an amazing leader and one of the most impressive men I’ve ever met: David Ure. I had the good fortune to be on sound all day, so I began to make note of some of the great things he said. I came up with a whole page of them. Ever wanted a signpost to trap yourself into a corner and help you to realise how inauthentic you are: here they are!

1. The more you try to get out, the more you get stuck.
2. Got legs? Got inauthenticity? You can’t leave your legs at the door, they’ll come with you. Same with inauthenticity.
3. If you don’t let yourself just be something, you will always try to be something else.
4. You major in boredom and resentment. You’re an expert at both. That’s what you’ve trained yourself best at.
5. Look at your being, not to changing your thoughts.
6. Trying another way is just “doing the same thing”
7. You are trying to avoid delivering on things in your life.
8. You don’texpect something, you know it AND you go looking for it.
9. You don’t get power out of “winning”, it costs you that!
10. You’ll be uncreative everywhere if you are not being creative everywhere.
11. You don’t give everything – you always save and hold something back.
12. Are you pretending to be present in your life?
13. When life’s working, you’re not there! That’s a good thing!
14. A persistent complaint costs Aliveness.

What’re you Twittering on about?

It’s not that twitter is anything special. Millions of people writing different types of content for other people to read. Hopefully interesting, purposefully ego-centred (especially in their ego-bashing way), deliberately witty, it’s all there.

Why do I go on twitter? There are some times when I just can’t face keeping something in that bothers me. I need an outlet, and nobody is around. At least I can guarantee that there are about 250 random strangers who will at least READ what I have to say. I used to not question this tact. And yet now, something else is emerging for me. There are times when twitter completely consumes my life and I tweet every little thing that happens. Sometimes when I’m having a bad day, my mind fills up with “How can I tweet without seeming to complain, bitch, moan or generally collapse into this horrible feeling I have?”. I use wit, I use banter, I say something sarcastic. And yet, none of it seems to make an impact on how I’m feeling. I take off the rose-tinted glasses, and I put on the violet-tinted ones.

And there are times when I know that my feet are on the ground. Things seem great, and I can’t help but want to inspire people. Impressions enter my mind. Thoughts pass through. Someone on the street smiles at me and for a moment I see myself more clearly. Who would want to keep this to themselves? If twitter seems naively narcissistic, then maybe it is. But for each of us, this “narcissistic tendency” may have been incorrectly framed. What we say DOES matter. Each of us does have a gift to bring to the world. Why should we not find a way to bring that gift to others? Even if it seems, at first, missing any real depth or relevance. There are many information harvesters who tweet links, videos and stories. There are many gurus and inspirational leaders who tweet inspiration, purpose and vision. And still there are those who share their lives in such a way that we are left touched, moved and inspired by what they share. Whether you be any one of these types, twitter reminds ME that we are all uniquely human in a very messy, uncontrollable and earth-shattering way.

This is why I come back and tweet my 10 tweets a day. I am learning that I am connected to a planet full of individuals born of possibility, and reminding me that we each have a message to give (whatever format that takes, and whether it was originally ours). It is often in my greatest “mistake” and most arrogant “narcissism” that I can begin to get who I am as a person among many.

Like it or lump it!

…and if all else fails, tweet it!

The 3 Dimensions of Entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship is one of the post-modern world’s greatest triumphs. Millions of people, across borders and within communities are picking up entrepreneurship as the new form of employment. Likely a more positive side-effect of our individualised culture, entrepreneurs are leading the way to giving freedom to those disenchanted with our current system, as well as providing the much needed innovation which may lead our societies out of the mess we find ourselves in. So as I began to ponder about 12 months ago, I started to realise that entrepreneurship was feeling rather…

…incomplete…

Often one who makes fun of things he hasn’t yet worked out until he finally has a breakthrough understanding, I realise I have not been kind to entrepreneurship. So many I have met have been arrogant, uncreative and well…institutionalised in their understanding of who they are “as entrepreneurs”. Many entrepreneurs simply take their scissors to the rules, cutting out sections and pasting the same words in different places. We are unable to keenly sense the next frontier. We often re-create what has already been done endlessly. Although cloning provides great opportunity for competition, our world stands at the precipice of an understanding of what it takes to really come into contact with reality and act through the wisest route. What we need are entrepreneurs who embrace the full spectrum of their development and are prepared to carve their own path, and their own way forward.

What is needed?

We need EMPOWERMENT
We need PURPOSE
We need CAPACITY DEVELOPMENT

Let me define each.

PURPOSE is that internal compass that guides us towards our bliss. It is the internal compass we all have which says “Go this way, don’t go that way”, respectively, giving feelings of wholeness and emptiness. It is our calling, our highest truth. Some might say it is the very reason we are on the planet (which can change moment to moment).

EMPOWERMENT is the internal belief that we can achieve what it is that we want to achieve. It is fitting the world to us, and not allowing ourself to be inserted into the world. Empowerment brings confidence, confidence brings resilience, and resilience brings results.

CAPACITY DEVELOPMENT is our training. A warrior receives his calling to do battle with his enemies (P), he follows his calling and picks up his sword (E). He sharpens his sword so that it cuts through his enemies with each blow (CD). The result of our Capacity Development is our embodied knowing of “how to act” in a situation. In this model, however, we will cut a slightly deeper blow to our enemy.

SO…

Why are all 3 important?

Without Purpose, we begin to look for what is most popular. I have questioned lately why I am not very forgiving of some social entrepreneurs. Yes, their hearts are in the right place. They care more than most, and we are blessed to have them. But sometimes blinded by their caring, they are prone to ignore the path of least resistance – their passions. Their long hours exhaust them as they fight against the “powers that be” and their work does not bring them the fulfilment they so yearn. They are putting so much energy in, and getting so little out. Perhaps I am generalising, but many well-intentioned do-gooders do not wait around long enough to see whether their path is what they are truly being called to do, and not just what they feel theyshould be doing.

Without Empowerment, we do not act. Or we begin to fit our plans into the domains others can understand. We shrink, we hide, we change. Worse, we compromise. Empowerment takes a shift in our understanding of our relationship to the world. If we see ourselves as at ‘effect’ to the world, we are not empowered. Empowerment is crucial in being able to realising our purpose.

Finally, without Capacity Development, well we tell ourseles we have all the answers. We are blind to new developments. Worse, we are blind to our own isnecurities, inadequacies and blind spots. We are operating from behind green tinted glass and attacking everyone who describes the world as orange or blue. Let me ask you this: If Bob Marley cared enough but didn’t listen to his calling, he may have become an aid worker and we may have all missed out on the inspiration he provided to countless fans to live nonviolence and compassion. In Capacity Development, we must distinguish between different levels of seeing what kind of development we are talking about. 1) Downloading 2) Seeing 3) Reflective 4) Presencing (taken from Otto Scharmer’s ‘Theory U’ – http://www.theoryu.com/execlinks.html)

Purpose is not just making a choice

So you have a purpose. You follow a cause. If you follow your heart, and if you listen to what calls you, your purpose becomes clear. Slowing down, listening and interacting with what feels most important to you is a powerful way to find your purpose. Even without a clear purpose, your purpose is to find your purpose. You are not only driven to find what lights up your heart, but you are driven to find what it is that you can bring to that cause. To what do you dedicate? How do you dedicate? What is your particular flavour? Why do you dedicate? Becoming clearer and clearer on what drives you, when we begin to listen from within and beyond our own selves to the outside world, our purpose becomes clear. At this stage, the name is just a pointer to the experience of our “Power Drive” into the future.

Empowerment is not just confidence

Often when we use the word empowerment, we have certain internal representations that are triggered. For me, I see the WW2 poster “We Can Do It”. It is the can-do attitude which gets the job done for me. How does Empowerment differ from confidence? Confidence can often bring arrogance. Empowerment is not just boldness, it is also caring, inclusiveness of others and, a solid foundation in reality. Confidence can sometimes leave us absent. Empowerment brings us present, fully awakened to our reality with no hidden surprises.

Capacity Development is not just developing a skillset

It would be easy to minimalise capacity development to Downloaded information. We have a calling to be an artist. We paint in ways other artists paint (level 1). We may also consider it useful to operate from level 2. We see the reality of what we are working with. We decide we are going to operate differentely and do the opposite, or we fit ourselves around the current system as if we are trying to walk through a room with toys strewn across the floor – ever careful of our step so we do not trip and fall. So we can download, so we can see.

What if we were to reflect. If we begin to look at Capacity Development from the space of being level 3 Reflective, we begin to look more at the blindspots we have. Our assumptions. Our biases. We begin to turn within and look at what clouds our judgment. We begin to touch more within, and begin to see the world as a series of relationships. We are not only prepared to see, we are prepared to reflect upon what we see, and the place from which we see. Finally, level 4 brings us down to the very ground of our operating source. We are birthing new possibilities and new opportunities. We are learning to operate from the whole.

For each of the 4 layers of Capacity Development, we need different tools to address our different ways of being, doing and relating to/from ourselves.

This brief overview is a suggested way forward out of our collective mess. Incomplete, partial yet bold, it is a perspective often missing in our “business courses”. I will continue to develop this model through seeking its most embodied form. Many institutionalized approaches to entrepreneurship are often dull, elusive and not integrally approached. I take up the challenge to see entrepreneurship become a more attractive, fun and lucrative form of wellbeing.

Did I love well today?

Did I love well today?

Did I let people in today? Or did I block them out?

Did I let my mood get in the way today? Or did I use it to open into how I was feeling for them?

Did it all serve me today? Did I live in my integrity today? Or did I lose myself in others’ wishes today?

Did I give people a chance today? Or did I make up excuses for why they wouldn’t “get it” today? 

Did I give into fear today? Or did I embrace all that I felt I had to do today? Did I let it frighten and disturb me today?

Did I listen to the wind today? Did I feel mother nature’s breath on my skin today? Did I let her softness in today?

Did I allow myself to be agitated today? Did I let it gnaw at me, bother me, and control me today? Or did I find a way to let it go and relax into the moment today?

Did I give myself the love I need today? Did I stand up and get counted today? Did I give myself more breathing room today? Did I kick some ass when people tried to choke that space today?

Did I let myself be vulnerable today? Or did I give into “being strong” and manly today?

Did I let myself be strong today? Or did I collapse into pity, doubt and shame today?

Did I love well today?

I hope I did today.

Dreams, what are they?

What really is this calling we call our Dreams?

This fire in our bellies. This ache in our hearts. This passion in our voices. This energy that delivers us through the greatest challenges, and delivers us from all evil. The evil of our own ignorance. We sit at its mercy. And still it calls. We believe it holds some value for us. Some greater mystery which will resolve all of the pieces of the puzzle. That will see it all come together, in a divine mystical union. At least, we hope.

A wave arrives through us. In the form of the most unlikely of demons. Enemies become allies, friends become estranged, the known is seen anew. Afresh. We see beyond our seeing. And the fabric of the cosmos is pulled back from the canvas upon which it lies. Our calling will have us do what is necessary. Even if it will have us forsake all others. Because, what we are called to do, this is the only thing that matters.

Our new eyes see all beyond. And it touches our hearts. We cannot hold back from acting. We cannot fall victim to our own ignorance. Not this time. Not in this hour. And yet, we still do not know what it is. But we know we must be ready. Must make ourselves ready for the journey ahead. It is this calling that blinds us, so that we  can see nothing else. Blind for so long by our own wants and dreams and desires, and small accomplishments in the world. We confuse all of this for “who we are”. Living our deepest passion, from this, spurs on our greatest commitment. Our greatest commitment to live as we are. Beyond being a Great Man, or a Great Woman. Constantly surrendering. Persistently giving up. Forever grateful for our one and only chance to live our life on this earth. To be awake and aware of our destiny.

What is this calling of ours?

The Power of Being-centred Instruction

In today’s world, instruction for learning’s sake is not enough. Being-centred instruction is the only thing that will make a difference. If we are learning to act, and our actions come from a place of “saving the world”, then we will not be able to see when we most critically need to see that our egos have inflated, or that our actions are guided purely by a reactionary state of mind. I have recently been contemplating which direction I have to go in. And what has become most starkly clear to me this morning when waking up is that Being-centred Actions are the instructive force that I need to take on in my life. That the place we are relating from and the place we are relating to is pure. Ways of thinking, ways of Being, ways of doing; they are all caught in a cyclical vortex around each other.

There is no clear map for what we are to do. Our guidance system is off, as we are guided by our own impulses which often download from the last successful action taken. Will this make a difference in the world? Maybe for a short while. But a paradigm shift in thought, action and Being are needed, where Being is at the deepest causal level affected. Only then can we begin to effect change in the world. But our true North must be clear in the sky before we act. And if this means waiting for the clouds to clear, then that we must do. I recently joined the Presencing Network online, and am curious whether this “interest” in these matters truly stretches down to the very level of Being that we are trying to create. Of course, everyone starts off at square one and our own investigations should not be hindered by this question but guided by it. But my thought is that we must bounce off many walls until we realise we never had any obstacles to overcome, nor any need to “reframe”.

What is the difference between reframing and presencing? Reframing simply shifts the perspective from one side of the box we are in to the other. Our centre of gravity may have shifted, but our thoughts have simply moved. Not being critical of this ‘reframing’, it can be hugely useful in deciding which way we want to orient ourselves from the level of development we find ourselves. It is the horizontal shift in the vertical movement of our development. But to presence and come into contact with the Ground of Being to shift our thinking from one box to the next, via our Being: this is what we need to develop to move away from the suffering we are embedded in. This is the instruction we need to teach. And I fear that many of the options I have been considering have not the capacity nor the curriculum to do this.

And yet, this is but one skill in many. Am I being too fussy? Perhaps. And this blog serves more as a “reflection” than a “decision” as to what to drop and what to take on. I am painfully aware of the distance between my thoughts and my actions. I have often felt crippled by this chasm. In many ways I am crippled by it. And yet I feel as though my actions need to come from this Being space. AND, my Being has the opportunity to be cultivated in the midst of such instruction. Where I should ultimately lay my money on the line, and where my path should go next, I have no clue right now. But being so crystal clear on this, and its importance in the education I am seeking, is the best way I can guide my next step. It is crucial.

The Next School

Recently, I’ve been contemplating what the next generation of school would look like. What capacities are needed to live and thrive in our world today? What should be standardised and what should be spontaneous? How can we truly build a school from the ground up which can truly meet the needs of the 21st Century?

And what of the teachers? What capacity development do they need to have gone through in order to teach the next level of complexity? It is clear, not so much that our thinking needs to complexify, but more that we need a shift in our thinking to match the complexity we face. Can teachers from our current generation meet these demands?

Thirdly, with our communities experiencing such fragmentation, what relationship needs to be built between such a school and the surrounding community? Do we need to take charge to build the community or simply provide space into which new potentials can flourish?

Does such a school teach in the inner city or out in nature where we can begin to rekindle our connection to the earth and to the Spirit of Nature?

And what to teach? How can we ensure that we teach the right philosophy to students? Do we focus on our strengths or do we provide a broader curriculum for students to give them a fuller sense of grounded integral education?

Depression

Quoting Bill Moyers’ interview of Parker Palmer, Palmer quotes a therapist of his who helped him to get through one of his depressions at 65-year-old.:

“”Parker, you seem to keep treating this experience as if depression were the hand of an enemy trying to crush you. Would it be possible to re-image depression as the hand of a friend trying to press you down to ground on which it’s safe to stand?”"

Beautiful.